I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
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