since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
