You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
