My hand turned me down
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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