I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
