Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Randomize
