dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
