Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
