doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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