Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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