why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
