You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
