yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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