I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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