Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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