Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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