I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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