Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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