Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
