he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
