Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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