I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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