nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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