She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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