I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I believe in your delicious
Randomize
