apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
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