There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
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