it wasn't lemon gatorade
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
