Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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