So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
