OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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