We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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