she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
