i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize