i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
