Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
