Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
