quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
