VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Randomize
