you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
You were trust falling into bushes
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
