Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
