I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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