I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
where are you?
Hypothermia
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
