people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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