What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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