Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
