Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
