You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
