If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
