I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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