This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
