so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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