so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
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