I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
