You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
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