we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
