I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Randomize
