So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
