At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
