She announced her abortion via fbk
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
