Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
