Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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