i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
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