oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Moan for me like Helen Keller
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
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