haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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